If you watch any Sci-Fi, you've noticed the creativity of alternate-reality swearing. Most notably, we have "frak" from Battlestar Galactica, and also assorted Chinese sprinkled into the English spoken by the folks in Firefly/Serenity. Also, included in Firefly is "gorram," a fine substitute for "goddamn." Lately, I have taken to throwing a few gorrams around myself.
Several months ago, I decided to try a banana cream pie out of a raw desserts recipe book I was given. The "cream" part uses flesh from young coconuts as its base. I'm not a huge fan of coconut, but in the spirit of adventure that must come with improving one's diet, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Luckily, the young coconut is mild in flavor, and the pie improves significantly with overnight refrigeration. This one's a keeper! I thought, and couldn't wait to put it out for whatever upcoming gathering seemed most appropriate.
A couple of weeks ago, we had a potluck social thingy at our school. I thought that would be a perfect time to put out a "healthy dessert." Not only is it super tasty, but as instructors, we take our roles as examples to others seriously. Awesome. Super. I had everything I needed except coconuts. I went ahead and made the crust while Charles went to the store.
Several texts and no substitutes later, Charles came home sans coconuts.
For the next two weeks, we kept our eyes peeled for coconuts while the crust waited patiently in the fridge. Gah! Why does nobody have any gorram coconuts! After awhile, Charles just started calling them gorrams.
At long last, we found a big display of gorrams at Whole Foods this past Friday. I busted the three of them open on Sunday to find copious amounts of coconut water, and precious little flesh. The recipe calls for 1 1/2 cups, and I had maybe half of that. Gorram it! My dear, darling Charles offered to go to the store and pick up two more gorrams. The big one was perfect, and the smaller one was not as young as it claimed to be, with much more, um, "meaty" flesh on the inside. At three bucks a pop, though, it was going to be used. A few hours of chilling later, we had ourselves some delicious frakkin' gorram pie.
Crust
1 cup walnuts
1/4 cup unsweetened shredded dried coconut
1/4 cup whole can sugar
pinch salt
1/4 raisins
4 pitted medjool dates
Place walnuts, coconut, sugar, and salt in a food processor and process until finely ground. Add raisins and dates and process until the mixture begins to stick together. Don't overprocess.
Will store 1 month in refrigerator or 3 months in freezer. Does not need to be thawed before use.
(I omitted the coconut, the raisins, and halved the sugar. Added popped amaranth for a toasty flavor and more dates so that total quantity remains the same.)
Pastry Cream
1 1/2 cups young coconut meat (from 3ish coconuts)
1/3 cup light agave syrup
1/3 cup water
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed orange juice
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon almond extract
pinch turmeric
2 tablespoons virgin coconut oil, melted
1 tablespoon soy lecithin powder (optional)
Place everything except the coconut oil and soy lecithin in a blender and process until very smooth. Stop occasionally to scrape down the sides with a spatula. Add the coconut oil and soy lecithin powder and process until smooth.
Banana Cream Pie
Press the crust crumbs into a 9 inch pie pan. Slice 2 bananas onto the pie crust and spread evenly. Pour the pastry cream over the bananas. Let pie chill for at least 2 hours.
(I did not use the soy lecithin, but it is supposed to make it creamier and firmer. My pie doesn't slice pretty, but it still tastes great)
From Jennifer Cornbleet's Raw for Dessert book.